Monday, 7 June 2010

Blatant laziness - I admit it....

*I originally posted this over on my other blog - Mrs Jones' Home Thoughts From Home - on 30 May 2010 but decided that, as it is actually about something that happened on my allotment (and my postings here have been a bit thin on the ground lately), I would post it here as well.  Some of you lovely readers peruse both blogs, but others won't have seen this.  And yes, I know.  I'm very lazy about posting.  I promise I'll do a proper post soon.  In the meantime, you can read below about My Message From God*

I'm not a believer.  In fact I'm what you would call more of a militant atheist.  I do not believe in any form of religion whatsoever and, in fact, the thought of organised religion enrages me disproportionately.  The fact that a mere superstition can hold such power in an otherwise sensible country like the USA, for example (although there are other countries to choose from, including most of Africa), just beggars belief.  To me, such blind devotion to something that doesn't exist is nothing short of mental illness.

To be honest, I really don't care if this offends any of my readers because - frankly? You can do better than this.  The Enlightenment freed our minds from the straitjacket trappings of the Church and showed us all the wonders of the Universe through the eyes of science. So why voluntarily choose to live in the Middle Ages?

But, today, something happened.  Something weird.

As you probably know, I have an allotment, about which I blog separately (read it here).  The Lovely Husband is away this weekend so I decided that I would spend a decent amount of time there trying to catch up with the weeding and stuff that I couldn't do when I had a god-awful cold earlier in the month. It's a weird thing, this gardening/allotment lark - you can spend every daylight hour breaking your back digging, bending, weeding, hoeing, watering and it always looks like you've done bugger all.  To say it's frequently disheartening is an understatement. But I have faith that it will all come together, as it usually does.

One of the jobs I had to do today was to earth up my spuds -  it involves heaping up extra soil to cover the leaves of the plants as they break through the ground surface.  While I was doing this, my trowel caught on something.  I scraped the earth away and saw something shiny and, sort of, layered.  It was a similar size and shape to those cloth books they make for kids, which is what I first of all thought it was.

Finding a kid's cloth book buried in my potato patch would be weird enough.

But this was way weirder.....

It was a whole bunch of religious photographs.  What the ......?

Yep, a load of photos, in a pile, buried in the middle of my potato patch.

I KNEW it - I knew I was different to all the other kids at school and this was it, this was my message from God.  I'm obviously a modern-day Joan of Arc.  Obviously.  Why did I ever doubt?

The message would be in the photographs (click on them to make them bigger).

There was a crucifix:

I'm not about to nail myself to a cross for anyone, so we'll just ignore that one....

There was the Blessed Virgin Mary balancing atop a big vase of flowers:

A neat trick, to be sure, but one I'm not going to be able to master.  That or Immaculate Conception, which I have tried.  True story.

There was Jesus who was also doing an impressive flower-balancing act:

And then I found The One:

Stands to reason I'm being told that I need to go out and burn some priests. Father Asbestos you ain't.  Right, that's it.  Enough of this banter, I've got God's Work to do - anyone got any matches?


  1. Love your find and this post, it did make me giggle. Don't go too crazy with those matches :-)

  2. I love this post........... You echo my ideas precisely...
    How I got here is even more weird...I was looking up Chillington Hoes and was diverted to an Allotment group and thus to you!

  3. Scented Sweetpeas - it was, without doubt, the weirdest thing I've ever found.

    Magpie11 - hello! I'm guessing you ended up at the Allotments UK messageboard where I'm a moderator under the name of Boudicca23. I've been a bit slack posting lately, mostly cos I keep forgetting to take my camera, but I'll do a bigger post this weekend as stuff is dying at my plot and I'm perturbed. Perhaps this is God getting his vengeance for me taking his name in vain....

  4. Mrs Jones, Mrs Jones, your post has had me in stitches!! I am a non believer after 24 years of catholisism being rammed down my throat, and to find what you found I think is the best ever allotment "weird" find. Ali x

  5. I have only just found this post and it's hilarious. I think as a Catholic I may have to go to confession for finding your post sooooo funny, but who cares cos I love it !!!
    M x


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